“Ewwwwww YOU GUYS!” Is what we hear most mornings. The boys are eating breakfast at the bar and Eric & I are clinging to each other while our coffee is brewing. Sorry not sorry kids! It has become our morning ritual. And it just might be my favorite part of the day. I believe It is my motherly duty to “Gross out” my kids on a daily basis. I also believe there is a significant importance of putting your spouse first. Even before your children.
Yep I said it. My husband and my marriage rank higher on my list of priorities than my kids. I am aware that is a bold statement. I am also aware that not everyone will agree with me. You know who will? My Husband.
Recent stats don’t offer a great outlook for marriage after the kids leave home. There has been a sharp increase in the number of couples calling it quits after 20 or more years of marriage when the kids leave home or take off for college.
I plan on beating those odds.
You see, I won’t have an empty nest. I will have a cute nest-y condo with lots of breakable things and a view somewhere beautiful. I will wake up in my big nest bed next to my hot old man hubby and we will do all the things that we cannot do now. This is not for about 20 years so we have a lot of “grossing out” to do until then.
If you ask my kids who mommy loves, the first thing they will say is “daddy” and vice versa. Followed by listing each of them. I LOVE THIS! My husband is my rock and my best friend and the fact that my kids KNOW this without hesitation is the most important thing to me. I will continue to put my husband before my children for that reason.
and these:
1. Because putting my spouse first instills a sense of security like nothing else we can provide. My kids know without a doubt that mom and dad are not going anywhere unless it’s together. It is the healthiest thing you can do for your kids.
2. Because I want my kids to learn how they should be treated. I want them to see that their spouses should put them first.
3. Because we are not roommates, we are best friends and lovers.
4. Because I don’t want to have kids that are jerks. When you make kids the center of your world, they turn into adults who think they are the center of THE world.
Eric and I have 3 kids (technically 5 actually)……London(8), Cash(2), Monroe(4 months) And 2 businesses. As you can imagine our lives are very busy. However we do not get caught up in the rat race. We work very hard to keep our marriage #1 on the list.
This is how:
1. Weekly date nights- AT LEAST ONE, SOMETIMES MORE.- This does not need to be a grand affair! Just a time to have a uninterrupted conversation that is NOT about our children.
2. Not co-sleeping- I am currently transitioning our 4 month old into her crib. This is the longest I have let a kiddo stay. HAHA! If there is “something coming between us” , it will not be a toddler at bed time. Bed time is the only 30 minutes we have “alone” sometimes we enjoy a glass of wine, cozy in the covers.
3. We have sex- ALOT OF IT– Sexless marriage is the number 1 complaint I hear from my clients. DO NOT KID YOURSELF. You can’t just be “best friends” and have a lasting marriage. Sex is crucial for you to feel connected to your spouse. Quit using the excuse there is no time. If I can make time at 5am on the floor of my bedroom(because my little princess was still in my bed) SO CAN YOU.
4. We know what each other needs- Figure out your spouses love language and use it. Eric needs touch. He has to have it…..I need time and gifts. He brings me tulips and takes me on dates, while I hold his hand and rub his back and everyone is happy.
5. We flirt- Whether it be by text or in person, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t get a text that he is thinking about me or “needs me”(TMI….sorry) but for real.
6. We are eachothers rock- Anything Eric needs(physically or emotionally) I will drop everything to do and he will do the same. I am his person and he is mine.
7. We are a united front- In business and family we are always on the same team.
8. PDA- Obviously there aren’t make out sessions in front of our kids but there is lots of smooching and “grossing out.” It’s his love language remember! We are modeling a healthy relationship for our kiddos.
Keila nicole 