My husband and I recently took our first NO KIDS vacay, and let me tell you it was basically heaven on earth. I mean who doesn’t love tacos, tequila, sun, sex and the sound of no kids screaming? WONDERFUL would be an understatement.

We had a person close to us make a judgement about our trip sans kids,  and to that I say

“YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG.”

We hear it all the time “My kids are my world”

Well too bad for your kids, and too bad for you.

Parents who make their children the center of their worlds screw up their kids, screw up themselves, and screw up their relationships.

Don’t get me wrong: My kids are the most important people in my life, besides my hubs. Every big decision, and pretty much all the little ones are made with the kids in mind. Where we live, what to cook for dinner, whether drive or fly on our family vacation or even what car we bought…..But that doesn’t mean I live for them. That would be messed up!

Yes, you are a parent. We get it.  Maybe that is the most important job you will ever have. (But maybe not. There are plenty of amazing people who make history without any contribution from their spawns)

The thing with kids that I am learning and have learned from my oldest, is they leave.  They don’t need you forever.  They leave you when they go to school, and when they can shower, get dressed on their own, and cook their own meals. When they’re teenagers, and making decisions that you cannot control.  And then they leave for college and that’s it…… Parents are forever changed by that invisible line that ties mothers to their children. But they are not ours. They are gifts sent to us for a short time to teach and to shape into wonderful adults and send on their way.

Some parents do not cut the cord. They hover and guilt and coddle until that child is afraid to leave, they have an unhealthy fear of what will happen to the parent who lives for them. This by definition is called co-dependece. I call it borderline abusive.

The greatest gift I give my children is modeling a full well rounded life. Much of my motivation to succeed professionally is to show my sons and daughter how to do that themselves, but also so they can observe the joy and pride that they can experience by working hard and being independent. I want them to see me enjoy long term friendships with my best friends, so that they understand why such bonds are crucial to a happy life. But most of all I want them to see me thriving in a fulfilling and loving marriage, So that they will have an example of what that should look like. I believe that a husband and wife must put one another before their children(you can read more about that here Sorry NOT Sorry) and I believe that the health of a successful family is centered around happy parents.

I see it so often in the salon, and recently have experienced in my own circle. Parents whos children run the show day in and day out. Guess what? They are miserable and it is more than obvious.

Parents please for the love of everything that is holy, stop making your children the center of your universe.  Your marriage will suffer, your children will suffer and your childrens relationships will suffer.

 Let’s not raise self absorbed assholes. Mmmmm K!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY WEEKEND SISTER FRIENDS!

♥Keila Nicole♥